That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
