There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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