Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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