He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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