We need to rekindle our bromance
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
