Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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