You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
