they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
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Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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