would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
