I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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