How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
