I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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You don't have to explain. You'll have him at "dressed like a stripper-cop".
I think that text would suffice.
Don't say, just do!
I agree with MD86.
That always solves my problems.