me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
