im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
