I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They should really pass out barf bags in church
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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