so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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