Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
