there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
