Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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