Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
