I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
