So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
