no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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