My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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