Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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