My brain says no but my pants say off.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
