I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
