I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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