I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
