If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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