I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Two words: nipple clamps
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