North Korea, Best Korea!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
