Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
a search helicopter?!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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