Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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