The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
