hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
