I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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