I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
