he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
