Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?