In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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