are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
