just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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