fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
