"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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