well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can't turn off my feet"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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