my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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