I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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