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  • 53 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 6:04am

    You Know What I hate? When People say 'Fake'.

  • 49 37
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 3:03am

    Hey you, the one about "JESUS, PLEASE NEVER HAVE KIDS. EVER." if you gonna say some thing like that then you are telling your self maybe others that your parent(s) should never had you in the first place and if that is true then where would we be now? Anyway, that story is hilarious. Some of y'all are too stupid to understand what's going on or make no damn sense. I gonna admit that sometimes I dont make sense but its true.

  • 52 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 1:12pm

    I want to high five something right now.

  • 45 33
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 11:21pm

    That sounds like no mother to me...

  • 45 35
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:35pm

    uhm why would you tell your kids about your first time?

  • 46 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 2:16pm

    give her a break, ok? drunken first times really suck. i'm not saying it was a good idea but she's hardly the first one to make that mistake.

  • 46 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 5:15pm

    Uh 6:50, pretty sure OP was being facetious, and thus, far more intelligent than you-- failure first times aside. Way to be.

  • 54 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 25, 09 at 5:57pm

    "At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account." I salute you, madam.

  • 47 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 12:34am

    For the love of god, please don't have kids.

  • 43 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 4:36am

    Fucking retarded people out there.

  • 45 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:11pm

    If you're a student you should have hacked into his college website and dropped all his classes. Best revenge ever.

  • 41 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 3:23pm

    I fucking love this text. My first time was just as horrible, a drunken mess. ^5

  • 50 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 1:53pm

    Did you talk to your mom about her first time? Methinks the least of your problems is the nastiness involved in losing your virginity. Seems you should work on family boundaries.

  • 43 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 6:35pm

    im ashamed this is from 608.. wow.

  • 46 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 3:25pm

    'dumb enough to fuck a total stranger'? like thats something that never happens to smart people. willpower only works when people aren't smashed.

  • 44 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 1:02pm

    so wait...dumb enough to fuck a total stranger...ye smart enough to hack his facebook...something doesn't add up

  • 37 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 7:19pm

    uh.. I don't know what kid asks their parents about their first time.. maybe the do... but it's not like you're obligated to answer... it's kinda weird. also.. how are you slutty if that was your first time? you should dictionary that shit.

  • 44 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:27pm

    These texts that are like ten lines long are stupid. No one actually writes a text that long.

  • 39 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:20pm

    This story would be so much better if you replaced "first time" and "used protection" with "conceived you" and "couldn't afford the abortion"

  • 41 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 2:43am

    Jesus, please never have kids. Ever.

  • 36 40
    Submitted by Furreal on Oct 16, 11 at 4:24am

    Get paid more next time to actually afford a full taxi ride home

  • 38 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 2:15pm

    You sound like an idiot to me.

  • 35 39
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 11:03pm

    wow. this makes me feel good about my drunken virginity lossage. sorry this happened to you sweetheart i know it sucks. :(

  • 40 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:20pm

    wow, you're a winner.

  • 43 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 5:16pm

    Good thing is, they'll learn not to be anything like you.

  • 40 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 1:53pm

    Maybe you should tell your kids, so they don't end up like you did- "and that's why you keep your pants on until you meet someone you really like."

  • 30 32
    Submitted by acid_monster on Dec 9, 10 at 1:03am

    sounds like she was in college at the time of losing her v-card... she did pretty damn good if you ask me...

  • 34 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 9, 09 at 4:23pm

    I think I know these people LOL

  • 38 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 11:40pm

    I don't think that she is really going to tell her kids the details. i say stuff like that all the time if i do something really slutty. it's just funny

  • 31 36
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:20pm

    you tell them to their dad on your wedding night. not in an alleyway in wildwood nj with a stranger who told you you looked like a white, hot alicia keys.

  • 33 41
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:45pm

    I think its funny & I don't think she was actually considering telling her kids about her first time!!!!

  • 39 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:29pm

    I get the feeling that the people who are saying "So why did you do it?" have never drunk. Her judgment was obviously impaired. :/

  • 34 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:07pm

    Do people usually ask their parents about their "first time"? I never have, and nobody I know has... I dont' think that's something anyone needs to know!

  • 33 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 5:31am

    well at least you have 9 months to think about it :)

    • 30 44
      Submitted by Sheepthief on Feb 26, 11 at 5:22pm

      She'll have more time to think about it because she used protection... Read first before you write ;)

  • 33 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 3:42pm

    LMFAO! that is awesome. :D

  • 34 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 2:12pm

    Facebook hackers ftw.

  • 41 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 6:36am

    Agreed with 6:35... I'd bet $$ that these texts were followed by "I'm totally going to put that on tfln"

  • 34 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 11:20pm

    Sorry mommy, you are an idiot.

  • 38 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 4:38pm

    Really 3:25? Absolutely nobody has willpower when they're' smashed? And I don't think that person was saying you have to be dumb to fuck a stranger, but rather that it IS dumb to fuck a total stranger.

  • 45 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 11, 09 at 11:34pm

    That's when you lie to them with a smile on :)

  • 28 34
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 5:36am

    if it was a total stranger, AND she was drunk, how did she manage to hack into his facebook account? one might assume that requires her knowing his name. Keep some stories to yourself. Wise idea?

  • 37 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 10:03pm

    how did you hack the account

  • 32 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 1:27pm

    Is there a direct link from the Moral Police main website to tfln?

  • 39 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:21pm

    Agreed, 12:19. If you were actually planning on telling your kids about your first time, and now you're worried about what you'll say, why'd you do it in the first place?

  • 34 49
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:30pm

    Is that a real text? Isn't there a limit of 160 characters?

  • 30 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:43pm

    Willpower only works if you're not a skank.

  • 33 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:32pm

    12:27 - I have written texts that long plenty of times. And I get that her judgement was impaired, trust me I've been there plenty of times. But I've never been so drunk that I slept with someone I didn't know that I otherwise woudln't have slept with if I was sober. It's called having some willpower.

  • 31 44
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:04pm

    just tell them you did it with your high school boyfriend. they won't know lol

  • 31 45
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:06pm

    i literally LOLed. Awesome way to start a weekend off.

  • 39 62
    Submitted by poop12 on Jul 11, 10 at 3:00am

    if he was a stranger how did you get his fb login info?

  • 35 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:34pm

    Only some phones have a limit of 160 characters. My new phone has that limit, but my old phone with a different cell provider had a limit of 1000 characters. I could type a huge message and it would end up being like 4 pages on someone else's cell phone.

  • 32 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 10:32am

    Wow! Some people really take this stuff way to seriously. Lighten up, you don't even know the whole conversation.

  • 39 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 22, 09 at 10:09pm

    People like this are the reason the rest of the country sees Wisconsin as a drunken wasteland...

  • 28 43
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:09pm

    Most mommys can't manage both.

  • 23 34
    Submitted by Furreal on Oct 16, 11 at 4:27am

    Confused really

  • 34 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 20, 09 at 1:08am

    Whoever submitted this is an idiot.

  • 30 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 2:57pm

    Who the fuck worries about telling their kids about their first time? Girl, get your freak on while you can!!!! NO REGRETS! Just have fun...you're too young to worry about shit like that!

  • 32 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:49pm

    Yeah, cuz that makes it so much more classy.

  • 29 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 22, 09 at 5:37pm

    people like this make me sad i'm from wisconsin

  • 31 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:11pm

    That's why you never tell your kids about your first time. You tell them it's none of their business. Or, just lie and tell them it was with their dad.

  • 30 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 11:17pm

    I think there's a difference between "what was your first time like" and "What are the details of your first time". I asked my mom about it, I didn't want details just a who, when, where and why, without flowery adjectives. Some people are just too uptight for their own good.

  • 25 47
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 12:19pm

    What I don't get is this: It's your first time, you're wasted, and you hook up with a stranger. How are you mad or surprised that he ditched you? What did you think would happen? You'd talk about your feelings afterwards and develop a long term relationship with this random guy? Seriously.

  • 24 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 19, 09 at 2:15pm

    I've never asked my parents about their first time nor do I ever want to. I've sent long texts like that. I can't on my new phone [which doesn't make sense 'cause it's a fucking Blackberry so I should be able to send 2342353 characters in 1 text]. My old phone, if I was sending to another Verizon phone, would let me continue the text in 1 box and the other Verizon customer would only get 1 massive text. For non-Verizoners, I would have to end the text, save the draft, and continue in a new text.

  • 21 43
    Submitted by manynam on Apr 6, 12 at 2:25am

    That's one facetious lady, bless the intellectuals and their Vaginas.

  • 28 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 21, 09 at 6:50am

    your use of "ain't no idiot" shows how fucking STUPID you actually are... and maybe you should just keep your legs closed because you'll end up having that conversation sooner than hoped if not