I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
