I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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