google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
