I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
