We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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