I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
