Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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