She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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