TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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