Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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