How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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