Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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