You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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