Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
no you cant smoke seaweed
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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