Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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