I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
