38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
