my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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