um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
