oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
